It is so very easy to write for others. Someone else gives you the topic, the word count, the idea and you just need to put your words into it. On the contrary, writing for self is so difficult. You need to manipulate your words as well as your thoughts because not everything can be shared, right? And though this is my way to thoughts, still few things are left unspoken and those are supposed to be left so. This tug of war between my mind and heart restricted me from writing here for so long. However, my dream last night gave me the thought of writing something after such long days and nights. I saw an abstract dream last night. Dreams are always abstract, I suppose and I too have not attempted to structure it at all. I am showing you the abstract piece exactly as I have seen at least exactly as I remember. Hope you all will help me structuring it.
It was a damp evening and seven to eight friends (don’t remember the exact number), sitting in some old tea-stall were discussing about going somewhere. I myself was a participant. I don’t remember all the faces except two. The first one was an ex-colleague of mine who is quiet dominating by nature. And though it was my dream, she was dominating here too. The other one was my childhood friend whom I never met after childhood though we are so called connected by the social networking world. The dominating lady was dividing us in three groups. We were going somewhere, don’t know where and don’t know why and for how long. But my inner voice was speaking strongly, “yes, I need to do this, I have to go, no matter what”. Groups were divided and strangely I didn’t fall into any. And strange it was that I didn’t even mention about it. I just thought, will join one group. Don’t remember what happen next and how the night passed but suddenly it was next day morning.
Wearing regular jeans and tees, carrying a medium size shoulder bag, I marched towards the same tea stall. Till I reached there, the first two groups already left. I checked my watch, it was 6.48 am, and it seems they left very early. I asked for a cup of tea and with the first sip, I saw my childhood friend approaching. We exchanged smile to each other. We were very close as kids but now we even hesitate to talk, may be because we were meeting each other after years. She was to go with the third group. I saw the other members, somehow didn’t like their attitude or looks or something. Long journey it was, their company might hamper me. But I need to go… This was not my group, I didn’t even have any but I need to go. I was confused a lot. Yet, with a sudden thought just left the stall and started walking alone through a lonely road. The next moment, I was awake. My mom was waking me up, screaming that it is too late. I closed my eyes again.
I wanted to know where did I go, why I was going, why I went alone, why I didn’t take any vehicle, why I went walking, how long will I walk and so on. Many such questions were hovering my mind when my mom gave me a second call. This time I woke up. Still sitting in my bed, combing my hair, I was wondering “why are dreams so abstract?” It left me with so many questions unanswered….