Long time I have written a piece of character portrayal. This person is going to hate me for doing this but I also know he can’t hate me for long 🙂
Trying to reveal the different sides of the Stupid Engineer.
I am not a miser just economic. Yeah, that’s how he says about himself. I am still figuring if he is one or not. From buying a kerchief to buying a phone, he bargains everything and everywhere. There might be a Fixed Price board outside, but he doesn’t leave that chance of grabbing the 0.001% of discount. His regular way of bargaining “arey sirjee, hum to regular customer he”, though he might be visiting the place for the first time. He doesn’t spend a single penny on clothes but ends up spending on all discounted eatable and non-eatable items. Give him a discount and talk to him nicely – Yes, that’s the trick but not necessary, it will work. He hates spending money be it on anything and keeps a count of every 1 rupee he spends. Good part is that he wishes everyone among his friends and enemies to be the same.
However, he can spend up to 15k for face cleanups; only, if the bill can be claimed against tax submission.
I am a Mamma’s boy. Is that a problem? No it is not. Be it good or bad, my mom is ever right. That’s his belief not just for his mom but for all moms. This is a thing with almost every Indian man but with him, it’s a bit more. He respects the entire elderly female gender, especially, those who are mothers. Others, I would rather not say a thing ;-). His mom might ask for the star or the moon, and he will get it for her. The only person for whom he can die for and is committed to is his mother. You might make fun of him for being a mamma’s boy and same thing might irritate you sometime but the same thing will also make your respect him as a son.
After Karan Johar, it’s only him in India.
I am the ‘Muft Ka Gyaan’ Ambassador. You might not be his closest friend or among the good listed colleagues but he is ever ready to give you advice. Be it on personal terms, professional terms, money, house, relationships or anything, he does give advice. Though, he might be bad at some but nothing can stop him from giving free advice or as we say ‘muft ka gyaan’. He says that he doesn’t enjoy talking but when it comes to advising, he can go on and on and on. Looking for some free advice on anything and everything? Get in touch with this guy.
But wait, he does charge when you ask him for a real advice. It seems you should never give away any secret success mantra for free.
I am a live scanner. All the ladies, if you think all those inners and linens are good enough to hide your assets then you haven’t met our live scanner. A Phd holder in women, he knows the best about women, at least that’s what he feels. He collected all his needed information from Google and yes, how can I miss the Library books. I bet even if you blind fold him, he can scan through the first girl in the row, the second one, the third one and the fourth one too.
Besides counting money and talking with his mom, this is his all time favorite hobby.
I am the King, King of Gaalis. He needn’t be angry to give gaalis aka abusive words. He might be very angry, hurry, funny, irritated or at times happy, and he comes with all the slangs available in Hindi and Punjabi language. With the amount of fluency that these gaalis pour out, even the artists will feel ashamed of their dialogue delivery. Every New Year, he makes this resolution to stop with gaalis, and I am sure, the next year and all coming years, he will be doing the same.
And who says he means it when he gives gaali. It’s just too fluent and unavoidable, of course for him.
Did you judge him? Don’t do it so quick. Above all these, you can’t help him being a nice human being. He might be the greatest miser but doesn’t think twice before helping the needy, his friends and family, not just financially but every way possible. A mamma’s boy he is but he respects all mothers and that’s not a bad thing; not at all. He gives you free advice but most of the times, his advice really works. He can be a live scanner but trust me, he can be more than a brother, a father and a guide to you, all you need to do is connect to him and be real. He does use abusive words but when he is wrong, he doesn’t mind saying sorry even a hundred times. A person who can love you to the extremes and hate you to the extremes but to love you afterwards even more. He doesn’t have the hate list people because all he know and want to give is love, for those whom he hates, he just choose to ignore. Though I have enough reason to dislike this person, I can’t thank him enough for many things. That’s him. You can’t dislike him because you are left with only one choice and that is to like him 🙂
Not just 5 but he has many such character traits which I will reveal some other fine day. Signing off for today.
Img src: Google Images