Category Archives: Matrimony Thingy

Arrange marriages are made by the Bharat Matrimonies and Shaadi.coms of the world. As I continue to struggle in this space, I start to pen down few of my experiences.

The Final Episode – and I met him

When I started my matrimonial search almost 2 years back, I didn’t know this journey would be so interesting. It took me two years to meet him but we do have a small history to share. During my initial struggling days with matrimonial sites, I did sent him an interest and guess what, he pinged me back. It was not a yes but it didn’t sound like a no too. He messaged saying he is in talks with someone and though he finds me pretty, he wouldn’t be able to take it forward. So, I was officially rejected over someone else. But that message kind of touched my heart. I have rejected so many and many has rejected me but none of us have been generous enough to leave an explanation. This is how, the boy leaves his first impression. More than a year passed and I literally forgot him when I read a message in office about someone saying ‘hi’. He claimed that I have sent him an interest in the matrimony site, I do not deny because the previous day I blindly sent interest to many. You can imagine my level of frustration and pressure from loved ones for marriage. I still don’t get it how things used to revolve only around my marriage all the time. I did respond to his message but I had no clue that it is the same guy who rejected me a year back. It was next day morning when my mother told me that he is the same guy. The Hyderabad guy turned to a complete Delhite in just a year.

The next day evening we talked over the phone for an hour. Yes, our first phone conversation was hour long. We talked about school and college, mostly his college and finally hung up with a date to meet. No, it was not a date, just a date to meet. Sunday evening it was when I waited for him near a cafe and Mr. Delhi comes 7 minutes late. This was good enough reason to piss me off, but surprisingly, I was in a good mood. We went to an old school cafe lounge. We (me sipping green tea and he enjoying cold cafe) talked more. He kept talking about his love for sports, his adventurous rides and Delhi and food and Picket and food and Hyderabad and food. After almost an hour, someone called him and he walked away to take the call; another not great impression but I surely was in a good mood to ignore that too. He comes back from the call and proposes for dinner. Along with being in a good mood, I might have been hungry too because I did say yes which I usually don’t do. We went to a Biriyani place for dinner. We talked a little more about food. After dinner, we went for a walk. I should call it ‘the walk’ because it was during that walk I made up my mind to see him again. Post the meeting, we went for many walks which eventually led us take the decision of getting married. Its been almost a year since our first walk and next month, I am getting married to him.

Strange isn’t it. Great first impression over a message, 2 bad impression during first meeting and I still decide to marry him. I didn’t even like the t-shirt he was wearing on the first day. Then what made me fall for him? May be a few sparks. I asked him ‘why is he opting for an arranged marriage and he replied who said? I might be opting for love.’ He remembered that I like Biriyani when he chose the dinner place. He pulled the chair for me. May be he smiled with his eyes when he looked at me. May be I managed to figure out the child behind the 6 feet tall man in the very first meeting. I don’t know the reason for choosing him but I feel I have made the perfect choice.

They say ‘marriages are made in heaven’ and I think they say the truth.

Episode 3: The One with Blue Blood

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Yes, what an achievement for me. One blue blooded prince showed some interest on a commoner like me 😛

He told me he is from a Royal Family and his ancestors were kings and queens. I asked him, ofcourse sarcastically, if I should call him prince. Unfortunately, he didn’t get my sarcasm and instead replied ‘yes but not much of a royalty these days’. He was a tall, good looking man. Yes, a man and not a boy – at least he talked like a matured man.

He talked to me twice and chatted not more than 5 times. Our usual conversation was always centered around how much I eat. He was slightly on the heavier side but does that mean food can be the only topic of discussion between us. After a point, I was tired of explaining that I can survive without having dinner and at times, breakfast. That won’t kill me  and it’s fine.

I didn’t find him interesting but he was a well spoken man and a man with a huge pay cheque which kept him quite high on matrimony level. But our royal prince was still a prince and not a king. He wanted me to meet his parents before he could meet me. I found it weird but as I was visiting my home, I said okay. Before the grand meeting with parents, he did matched our horoscope and checked if I am a suitable match. I guess ours matched and that’s how I cleared through the first round of interview with the royal prince.

A simple looking old Assamese couple waited for me in the Guwahati Airport along with my father and sister who came to pick me up. Every mother thinks her son is the most handsome man in the world; even K JO’s mom does but she could have spared the praises for her son’s good looks. I was not impressed with his good looks as much with his speaking abilities. The queen and the king scanned me and my nervous father; I think my sister too. The king treated us with a cup of chai and some snacks from the Airport café. We left in half an hour but those thirty minutes were good enough for them to reject me as the bride for their handsome son. I guess they didn’t like my petite physical frame, the car my father came in, my father’s nervousness, my smartness or my complexion or just all of it. I didn’t care much but I do hate the prince for ruining my holidays. All 10 days, my mother kept talking about the royal family and kept guessing my not likeable traits that might have made them reject me. I kept consoling her saying, ‘matches are made in heaven maa’. Thus happened my first rejection in the matrimony front.

When I look back and think I feel it was for the good. I am a smart, independent girl with a decent career and income. A girl with a slightly feminist heart, too much love for her parents and a little too frank – a total misfit for a royal family. Besides, I wouldn’t have looked good with the handsome but fat prince. Yes, he was not slightly on the heavier side, I was just trying to be nice.

He kept visiting my profile often even after the Airport episode. May be he liked me but sorry Prince, you are no king to make your own decisions. Good luck to you in finding your princess 🙂

Episode 2 – Mr. Cold

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When I mentioned cold, I meant it literally and was not referring to other adjectives like being cool or chilled out. Sorry for being brutally honest but I found him quite cold.

Matrimony thingy is a complex affair. Even though few of us might be introverts, we need to speak up to let the other person know us and understand us to make a wise decision. Dude, if you are cold and mum..how do you suppose me to know you; forget about understanding you.

Mr. Cold was a decent looking guy with a decent income and seems to come from a decent family. All three decent thingies for me to give it a shot. We started chatting which was nothing less than answering a questionnaire for a nutritionist for me. What to you eat, what do you exercise, what do you like, where do you work and bla and bla. Oh yes, he did ask me ‘Are you a party person?’ My reply was honest; can’t help being one. I answered ‘I am not a party animal but I am okay with few hangouts once in a while. However, every weekend partying is not my cup of tea.’ I think he didn’t like my reply. Well, good for him.

The chat before we met was quite interesting indeed. He pinged me on a Saturday morning asking let’s meet up for lunch. I was like I did tell you that I just lazy around on weekends but that obviously doesn’t give you the right to plan a meet in few hours. I might have been busy which I think I was but more than that, I wanted him to tell me at least a day in advance. At least till we are someone to each other. I told let’s meet on Sunday..he bluntly replied no, I am busy. I said cool.

Mr. Cold repeated the same thing the week after and as usual, I was pissed off. I left him a lengthy message making it clear that I don’t want to meet him as I don’t feel any connection or seriousness from his end. For the first time, he seemed persuasive and he convinced me to meet. I so wish I was not convinced.

Mr. Cold invited me to a Starbucks few kilometres away from my place whereas there was one just a few steps away. I reached at exactly 5 pm when he casually pinged, I will be 10 minutes late. I gave him minus 5 for this stupidity. He came in late and I was already sipping a horrible tasting cold coffee by then. At the first glance, I just felt he was slightly warmer for his decent looks but he was not. He was cold, really cold.

Mr. Cold claimed to know Salsa dance form. I felt wow but I wish he could do the Ganpati Bisharjan step or some fun Bollywood steps. Strangely, I don’t remember anything much except his cold smile. He was like a food platter well garnished but without any strong feel of spice. He just need some life to his face, some spark and the urge to breathe and be himself. I just wished he could have been more human and less robot.

After the pathetic cold meeting, both of us mutually decided to ignore each other. Though my choice of words have been slightly harsh in this one, I hold no hard feelings for Mr. Cold. I wish him warmth, life and smiles for future 😊

Episode 1: By Far The Best

May be it was the first time or is actually by far the best. My first meeting for matrimony thingy was simple and sweet till the end. Like a gentleman, he was already waiting for me in an old style cafe. Least that he knew, I hate all fancy coffees and cupcakes. I prefer a cutting chai or a cup of filter coffee more. Call me small town now, I don’t care.

I was wearing a white top with blue few things and a pair of dark blue jeans. I discarded my spectacles and was wearing contact lenses for the meeting. Not that, I look better without glasses but I don’t know why. And he paired up a casual shirt with jeans and sort of woodland shoes. Don’t ask me the colors, as I am afraid I don’t remember.

The entire 2-hr conversation was somewhat okay. At least, it was an interactive one and we both were participating. It was embarrassing when he asked me about few super seniors from my university and I didn’t have any clue who they were. That was the time when he realized that if not another generation I was years younger than him to remember his friends from my university. He spoke about varsity and the environment and I could equally participate. We had some fun laugh while I was struggling to gulp in the foamy cappuccino.

I think he mentioned about taking me out for dinner post the coffee meet. But me being ‘the me’, said no for the dinner. I bluntly lied about having a b’day party at my PG of some unknown mate. I found an excuse to leave early. The real reason was not that brutal though, but the fact that I was not used to going out for dinners with strangers. He of course was one; I was talking and chatting with him only for a week and there we were meeting each other.

I don’t recollect much from our okay conversation but I knew the guy liked me. I could make that out from his smile. The cafe was just a 5 minutes walk from my PG and when I was about to leave, the not so great ending happened. He just disappeared and I was shock or may be surprised. Left with lot of questions, I concluded he was slightly uncomfortable as we stood up. He was almost of my height or may be shorter than me. I gave the same reasons to my parents and later put it on my parents in front of him, as an excuse to not take the alliance further. However, I am not sure if it was the height thing or the selfish me who just wanted to meet few more people before taking the matrimonial decision for myself.

It’s been a year and half and I have met more people till now, had varied experiences. A few where the guy thought I was average and few where I thought the guy was not that great. However, after these meetings, I could definitely mark the first one as the best one.

And sometimes, I wish I was a little more matured at that time and a little less obsessed with tall men. I could have maKe it work and I slightly regret saying no to a matured good man. But as everyone say, marriages are made in heaven and so if it didn’t strike, it was not made there 🙂