Category Archives: With tint of personal touch..

Turning 30 is not difficult, 31 is!

turning old

People say turning 30 is difficult; for me it was not. But this year when I am turning 31, I am freaking out. Every morning from last few days, the Joey inside me is screaming… Why God, Why? I don’t remember feeling sad about my age even for a moment last year. May be because “turning 30” comes within quotes. It’s a fancy thing. You feel that you have grown wiser and you are the youngest one in thirties. You are determined that now you will plan your future better, save well and start speaking smartly. A year later I realize, I am still the same. I still have no plans for my future, I continue to be an impulsive buyer and all my speaking skills have reached another level of low. So yes, I am freaking out to be 31. Read on to know my ageing struggles.

Stress + Hormones = Weirdo Me

I had no idea I have so much of stress and that my hormones are as weird as me. I book an Uber everyday to office and yes, I have written a post on Uber Drivers previously, but I didn’t mention the worse side. That every day, I need to convince the driver to not cancel the ride and come and pick me up even after paying a high rate to Uber. Also, I have to keep convincing him throughout the ride that neither the road nor the traffic is my fault. Dealing with this everyday is stressful. Besides, reaching office was fun when I was younger because my colleagues were my friends. Now, I am too old to be their friend. Also, all the weekly, monthly, quarterly meetings and reports are always there to increase my stress level. So, I am always under stress and apparently stress doesn’t go well with your hormones because of which you will get weird health problems.

Age + Laziness = Fat Me

This was always a problem but in the last one year, it has increased 10x. I used to envy people with high metabolism, now, I hate them. I read it somewhere that you cannot be careless about your eating habits after 30. You should eat more of healthy food and cut down on junk. But why are my taste buds not ageing along with me. I still love Kurkure, Panipuri, Momos and Biriyani and my hatred towards fruits and vegetables have not changed at all. Besides, I have become lazy or may be I always was. I give up on myself every morning. I don’t walk, run or do any sort of exercise now. Sometimes I do go for a run just to give surprise visits to the regular runners/walkers of the society. There was a time when I used to run in the morning and do yoga in the evening. I can blame God for growing old not for growing fat, it’s me. Just that, I am angry why couldn’t God give me higher metabolism…why God why?

People + Jokes = Angry Me (Super Angry Me)

Yeah, I got married and I am putting on weight and people, it has nothing to do with me getting married. It is me eating all the junk food without working out. And when you joke around saying I might be pregnant, I get super angry. I might be smiling outside but I am hating you for life for saying that. This is the time when i don’t connect with People’s jokes. I don’t relate to the younger and older as if I am stuck in between. Also, I have more relatives and fewer friends in life now and we all know that this is not the balance we want. So, turning 31 has no perks.

But yes, it’s my birthday and I should be feeling positive. I will try ok and fine I have a ‘To Do List’ for this year too which I hope I can follow at least for a month. Bye for now folks!

The Uber Driver who told ‘Boys Log Kaminey Hote Hain’

I am one of those who feel services like ola and uber have made our lives easier. I commute to work every day by uber and I meet interesting uber drivers every day, well most of the times. On rare occasions, I meet drivers who are rude, completely unfamiliar with the route and the ones who just look stern. I do get frustrated when I meet the later type, complain and at times fight with them. Fortunately, most of the times, I meet the interesting ones – the uber driver who told ‘boys kaminey hote hai’, another one who enjoys the diversity in Indian culture, then the one who is property inquisitive. Want to meet them? I don’t remember their names but I am sure you will find them cute as much as I did.

The Uber Driver who told ‘Boys log kaminey hote hai’

Well, when I started my ride I was pretty upset. A small argument with husband, lots of work at office and a painful body from my initial stunts at the gym were good enough reasons to make me cry. For the ones who don’t know this, I cry quite often. So, I was sad with tears rolling over my cheeks when my cab driver asked me ‘Boyfriend se jhagra hua madam. Parwa nhi, boys log kaminey hote hai’. That was it. It was not funny but the way he told, lighten up everything. I wiped my tears and smiled at him, also agreeing to what he said. I was not happy but not sad either for the rest of the evening.

The Uber Driver who believes in ‘Unity in diversity’

It was a regular morning when I got into an uber cab towards my office. After just a few minutes, he asked me nasta hua madam. I told, ‘yes bhaiya tindi aaitu’. He smiled and asked if I know Kannada. I told him I just know a few basic phrases but I think he liked my effort. He appreciated my gesture and shared how he enjoys the diversity he sees in the city. He meets people from different culture every day and it seems he enjoys his job because of that.

The Property Inquisitive Uber Driver

This guy was direct. He asked if I rent the place where he picked me up from or do I own it. I told I rent and I do not have money to own one. The explanation was not needed and I have no clue why I said that. He then asked me what is the rent for the flat and how many rooms we have. He asked how much would be the cost if someone wants to buy it and then talked about property and cost in different places of Bangalore. I don’t remember the property details but he made me think for a moment that I should definitely stop buying shoes and start planning about properties.

There are many such drivers whom I meet every day. They share stories with me and at times I share mine too. We complain about traffic and admire the weather together. Sometimes, I share my chocolate or chips with them. Sometimes they give me reasons to smile and few times I bring a smile on their face. There are lot of things that I complain about life and I will keep complaining but moments like these do make me feel good about life. As they say, be happy not because everything is good but because you see good in everything.

A Poetic Conversation

Around 12th April 2011, when I was surrounded with mixed feelings and was as amateur as today in terms of handling emotions, I had a poetic conversation with this guy, a  good friend of mine in today’s date. It started with a chat and we were talking normally when the conversation turns poetic; naturally indeed. Was thinking of scribbling this conversation to my space for sometime and today I am doing it finally…

downloadA poetic conversation between a Sad girl (G) and a Jolly guy(B):

( G): Floods of tears created a great ocean amidst my soul is sinking by and by ……

( B): thou shall then catch a small boat named hope and float along the sea of life

(G): in the desert of miseries and loneliness, hope is like a drop of water…my soul is thirsty…waiting for a miracle

(B): have the papaya juice of friendship and enjoy the sweetness that it pours into thy soul

(G):hundreds of friends i have, few are close too…yet m lonely, yet m silent..

(G):amidst the merry making crowd, there is someone crying, amidst cheering laughter, there is sobbing tears…i have a smile in my lips but my heart refuse to smile…

(B):O lonely bird, imprisoned in the mind cage thy itself created, spread the wings of heart, fly above the cloud of worries,indulge in the sweet fresh air of merriness, you will hear more laughter,less cries…..friends

(G):i flew and flew the air of love, the sky was lovely, the air was pleasant, carried away by emotions i was flying on and on…till my wings were cut and my eyes were bleeding…

(B): the feathers of hope thy bear,those tender things of love,clasped in the strong clutches of forged love, why fly into the wicked web of hope, why not steer away

Thank you Jolly Guy for that day. Hope you stay as jolly as ever. Signing off for today 🙂

img src:

My life with Kutumunu, Happy, Puchuku and few more

Still wondering, why it took me so long to write about my love towards them? I was never a dog lover but today I feel closer to dogs than humans. I feel as if they have the sense of innocence, trust and love which we human have lost in the fast race of life. Without being preachy, let me take you through my encounters with this lovely species and introduce you to Jojo, Pogo, Kutumunu, Happy, Laila, Puchuku and Princess.

Forget about being a dog lover, I was too scared of them. I think I still am. The only difference is I have started connecting with them. After two days of meeting, I start calling them with names. I feel happy with them.

JojoandPogoLaila gave birth to Jojo and Pogo

I don’t exactly remember when it all started. Some 5 years ago, when I was still very distant from dogs I came home from hostel and met this lady dog (We haven’t named her yet) with her two new born babies. Adorable they were with shiny black fur and cute little faces. They were too small to hurt me and may be so I became closer to them faster. Within next two days, we named one as Jojo and the other one as Pogo; though it was difficult to identify which one of them was who. Jojo and Pogo were happy and used to keep us jolly till my mother thought one of them should go away. She felt bringing both of them up will be difficult and we send Jojo away with someone she knew. Pogo was with us, happy and notorious as ever. Laila, we named his mom as so, too started being a regular visitor of our home. Not many weeks passed when Pogo passed away while coming beneath a train. We staying in Railway quarters that was the worst disadvantage our pets could have. I was in hostel and my mom was heart-broken.

Kutumunu and Me – Best Friends ForeverHappy Munu

Days passed when we were still missing Pogo and I demanded we should have another black dog as a pet. It was more because of my love towards him than the astrologer in TV stating my sunsign should have a black pet. Then, we brought Kutumunu home. He became my best friend in no time and I started sharing all my feelings with him. My family members are very frank but they never bother to know about me. Kutumunu did; he used to listen to all my thoughts, worries, see me dancing, see me cry and what not. I started sharing my Kurkure, Bhujia and mixture with him; I don’t do that with everyone. When he sleeps, I used to irritate him by putting nail paints and staring at him on and on. After Kutumunu came to my life, I discovered this other side of me who could be emotional and so connected to pets. It was the day and today when I feel much closer to dogs, be it street dogs or someone’s pets. I find them lovely and adorable and they really are. Kutumunu too died when I was at Bangalore. He faced the same curse of rail tracks. More than my mom, this time I was heart-broken. I still miss him and feel this sense of loss and pain in my heart at his passing away. I miss you Kutumunu and I love you so much and I wish to meet you in Heaven after I die. I know you will be there and I will make every possible effort to reach there.

DoggieHappy became a family member

Then came Happy to our life. We named him so because we wanted him to be happy but he was the most ferocious and notorious. He was just everything but happy. He was opposite to Kutumunu but we love him the way he was. And strangely, my father started connecting to Happy. But misfortunes and misfortunes. We stay in a surrounding where most of the people find it hard to acknowledge the love you have for your pets. They make fun of them and you at the same time. Happy being a rude one soon started coming in their bad books. He wouldn’t let our neighbors goats come inside our house area and he did scare them off a many times. While we started keeping him away from such encounters, the others started taking revenge on him. My poor Happy had to face cruelty at extremes. My mom and dad gave up and decided to let him go away. It was painful for them there while it was upsetting for me here; that Happy wouldn’t be a part of our lives anymore. He was left on the way to our ancestral home and that day he was silent and calm. As if he knew, we had no choice. That was the only way we could keep him away from these heartless neighbors. But destiny had some other plans. He ended up reaching at our ancestral home. I don’t know how but today he stays with my uncle’s family and both my mom and dad keep visiting him. He is calmer today and we miss his notorious side. I pray for him and his good health. While Happy stays few kilometers away from us, Laila continues to stay with us. She is old yet classy. I love you both Happy and Laila.

HappyMy encounter with Puchuku and Princess

We have decided not to bring any pet home till we stay in that neighborhood. But I can’t get rid of the love and connection I feel towards them now. I met Puchuku and Princess on my way to office. Few weeks ago I decided to walk half a mile to my office; this was totally to stay fit and avoid gym. I met Puchuku on a bus-stop where I take the bus to reach office. He was he, but it took me days to realize that and I continued referring him as she. He was shy and serious type. I give him biscuits every morning and he eats it silently. After 2 days, he started acknowledging me with a smile. Then I met Princess on the road. She is the Queen of the road. Unaffected by anyone and anything, she sits in the middle of the road. She poses like a diva and behaves like one. Buses, cars, bikes and people have to make that extra effort to pass besides without harming her. She being her will never move away. I love her attitude and so named her Princess. Puchuku doesn’t come to the same bus-stop now-a-days; it being sunny during summers and I haven’t met him for few days. However, Princess sits in the middle of the road every morning and I smile at her. Unlike Puchuku, she doesn’t smile me back and I so love that attitude of hers. There are many like them whom I meet in my everyday walk of life. Their innocence and attitude makes me smile and make my every day. Today, when I have hardly any friend or near one in the city, I feel connected to this lovely species and feel happy and find peace within myself.

Will Rogers quoted so well, “If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.” 

Oh…I miss those yesterdays

It’s about four years since I have been staying alone in Bangalore and today, when I look back I miss those yesterdays. People say past and future always seems to be beautiful. I don’t say my yesterdays were ‘no complaints’ days. There were both good and bad days but when I look at my life today, I miss many things from my yesterdays. And when I say many, I really mean many. Just trying to frame the missing parts of my yesterdays in my today through this post.

SilenceSilent Evenings: Unlike college and university hostel days, pg days in Bangalore are silent and absolutely silent. I don’t know whether I became cranky or it’s just busy lifestyle. I was not the most popular ones in college or university but definitely among the most loved ones. I used to sit, chat and chat and chat. Time hardly meant anything for us unless it was during exams. We can talk, dance and talk and dance on any topic and on any music. The silence of present day evenings might be due to lack of friends. Not that I didn’t try making friends here but it just didn’t happen. So, I miss those talkative yesterdays’ evenings and long nights that I used to spend with my dearest friends and roomies.

ShoppingAloneShopping Alone: Oh…how can I forget those days of shopping? We hardly had money but we used to go mad about shopping. Hours and hours, we will take to decide each other’s clothes, shoes and bags. From malls and mostly from street shops, we shopped the most and shopping in a girls’ group means a scary time for shopkeepers and a fun time for girls. I still remember traveling an hour to buy a stuff of just Rs. 150. Yesterday, we were many but used to shop less; today, I am alone and I shop a lot more. 100 has turned 1000 and 150 has turned 1500. Clothes are trendy, shoes are cool, bags are expensive yet to die for, but where’s the fun? I so much miss those happy shopping days with my girls’ gang.

NoMoviesNo Movies in Theatre: Since I have been to college, there were hardly any movies that I missed out watching in a theatre. Luckily my roomies and my BFF from college used to love watching movies “in theatre” as much as I did and still do. Ticket cost used to be not more than 40 rupees and theatres used to be not as luxury as today. But trust me those days were real fun. Today, I am willing to spend a larger amount for watching a movie but no one to company. I tried watching movies alone, it’s no fun. I miss my movie mates and those yesterdays, when we used to scream and laugh at the slightest punch and cry at the not so emotional moments. Wow, I so miss those Fridays and Saturdays of those yesterdays.

NocallPhones‘No call’ Mobile Phones: I still remember my first day with my first mobile phone and days after with same and different mobile phones. I used to talk with friends till my phone becomes as hot as to burn my ears. I used to message and reply even in sleep. My mom used to call every day and my friends used to call every hour. Today, I keep my phone aside in the morning and it stays numb till the evening. No phone calls and no messages except few pings from some active watsapp groups. Last call logs include phone numbers of mom, bank guys, ecommerce guys, naukri guys but unfortunately not a single friend. I don’t blame them, how can I, as the dial logs are even worse. So, I also miss those yesterdays’ fun chat times over the phone with friends, friends and some more friends.

GreenTeaLess Junk and more Green Tea: Eat junk and still stay slim. This was a fact yesterday and a myth today. I munch less junk, eat less food and manage to do yoga and exercise for some time; still I find it difficult to maintain that slim body. Not that I have turned out giant but with skinny relatives, you know how survival with even that little flab becomes difficult. Yesterdays were full of panipuris, samosas, momos, chips and kurkure and today is filled with green tea with oats and diet flakes to garnish. I am tired of being a diet freak and I so miss those yesterdays when I was a complete junkie and used to munch anything and everything.

There are many such parts of yesterdays that are no more a part of my today and I miss them so much. I miss my friends, I miss those fun days but more than anything, I miss that old me – the girl who used to love every known and unknown person, was full of life, kept a 24/7 wide smile, had bright eyes and with a God fearing heart used to enjoy life with friends, family and herself. Today is a new me; this is not that bad but still I am trying hard to find that lost me and I believe I will find out her within me some beautiful day 🙂

Durga Puja – Days of Festivity

October is a special month for me, first because it is my birthday month and second because it is the month of festivals. Almost every year, festivals like Durga Puja, Laxmi Puja, Dusshera, Navratri, Eid, Kati Bihu and many more, unknown to me, fall on October and owing to this list, I declare the month of October as the month of festivals. May be I should include November as it beholds Diwali; however I am being bias to October, it being my favorite month. Also October green signals the festivity mood amidst people’s heart. Durga Puja usually falls on October (except on the rare years).  Durga Puja is a festival majorly celebrated by Bengalis but being born and brought up amidst a neighborhood surrounded by Bengalis and Biharis, I celebrate Durga Puja as joyously as I do Bihu; at times even more.

Stepping few years behind in my memory, I can measure the difference of excitement of those days from today. Those were the years, when we used to get full week holiday for Durga Puja. I still remember, since the evening of Sasti (6th day) when Goddess Durga was brought to the Pandals from the artist’s place, a different sort of blood seems to run in our blood. Talking only about myself, I used to be extremely happy, singing songs become my favorite pastime for the days and dancing is always on my move. New puja dress, mouthwatering jalebis and samosas, the beats of dhol, heavenly khichdi (given as prasad) and most importantly holidays – what more do you need to be happy?

Today – things are little different. Though I start off October month with a wide smile, it gets over by 10th of the month. Living miles away from home and working in a corporate world in South India, I do not get luxury Durga Puja holidays. Actually I do not get any for Durga Puja holiday; we get a day off on Dusshera, the Dashami of Durga Puja. Other two days, sitting in front of the system I just recollect the memories of old days. I do wear new dress but I miss the mood of festivity in the air, the taste of Puja Khichdi, hot jalebis and the beating of dhol. I miss every bit of my childhood Durga Puja days. Sometimes, I am lucky enough and one of the days falls on weekends. I get a chance to visit the Durga Puja pandals organized by the Bengali and other communities here.  Still my heart is not satisfied…but at least, I am content.

This year, things are even more difficult. For the first time I am alone in Durga Puja, no holidays and no company to visit Puja pandals. I miss every bit of Durga Puja festivity. The worst part is observing my friends celebrating Durga Puja grandly with families and friends. They are updating it fast on FB and along with each update my heart goes jealous and low. But days are not over, nor are years. I still have years to enjoy the festivity of Durga Puja. Maa Durga will come every year to fill our hearts with joy and I guess I needed to experience this year, to realize my fondness for this festival. Besides, there are two more days to go. May be there are secret happiness yet to be revealed.

Till I wait for my secret festive revelation, wishing everyone a very Happy Durga Puja!

My last night’s dream…

It is so very easy to write for others.  Someone else gives you the topic, the word count, the idea and you just need to put your words into it. On the contrary, writing for self is so difficult. You need to manipulate your words as well as your thoughts because not everything can be shared, right? And though this is my way to thoughts, still few things are left unspoken and those are supposed to be left so. Continue reading My last night’s dream…

Friendship Day

August 7, 2011: Today is friendship day as it is the first Sunday of August. (Celebrating friendship day on the 1st Sunday of August has become a global tradition in the past years). Do not get me wrong, i am not going to narrate you the history of friendship day out here, neither i am going to put up arguments setting whether it should be celebrated or not. I will just share about my thoughts and my today…my friendship day. Continue reading Friendship Day